“I never wanted to hurt you.” Uh, duh. Thanks. The road to hell is paved with good intentions and lines like this, buddy.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/things-people-say-after-a-break-up/

KT in Boulder

tried the best I couldd

He awoke each morning with the desire to do right, to be a good and meaningful person, to be, as simple as it sounded and as impossible as it actually was, happy. And during the course of each day his heart would descend from his chest into his stomach. By early afternoon he was overcome by the feeling that nothing was right, or nothing was right for him, and by the desire to be alone. By evening he was fulfilled: alone in the magnitude of his grief, alone in his aimless guilt, alone even in his loneliness. I am not sad, he would repeat to himself over and over, I am not sad. As if he might one day convince himself. Or fool himself. Or convince others—the only thing worse than being sad is for others to know that you are sad. I am not sad. I am not sad. Because his life had unlimited potential for happiness, insofar as it was an empty white room. He would fall asleep with his heart at the foot of his bed, like some domesticated animal that was no part of him at all. And each morning he would wake with it again in the cupboard of his rib cage, having become a little heavier, a little weaker, but still pumping. And by the midafternoon he was again overcome with the desire to be somewhere else, someone else, someone else somewhere else. I am not sad.

perfect drug

I’ve been in love before, it’s like a narcotic. At first it brings the euphoria of complete surrender. The next day you want more. You’re not addicted yet, but you like the sensation, and you think you can still control things.You think about the person you love for two minutes then forget them for three hours. But then you get used to that person, and you begin to be completely dependent on them. Now you think about him for three hours and forget him for two minutes. If he’s not there, you feel like an addict who can’t get a fix. And just as addicts steal and humiliate themselves to get what they need, you’re willing to do anything for love.

troublemaker

Like a hand you reached out to me
The thunder rolls in with the dark
Tiny fingers on the edges
Watch it unravel
Pulling everything apart

In the back we stay together
The walls are shaking in their skin
Does it become you troublemaker
Watch them unravel you
Pulling everything apart

Someday out of the blue
It will find you
Always
Always a face to remind me
Someone like you
Someone like you
Someone like you

You watch the shape these things are taking
Do you cry out in your sleep
Does it become you when you’re under
Your heart is racing you’re taking everything too hard

When you walk away
You show me how
Come pull me under

Someday out of the blue
It will find you
Always
Always a face to remind me
Someone like you
Someone like you
Someone like you

Someday out of the blue
It will find you
Always
Always a face to remind you

into more pieces than my heart was made of

“Does it break my heart, of course, every moment of every day, into more pieces than my heart was made of, I never thought of myself as quiet, much less silent, I never thought about things at all, everything changed, the distance that wedged itself between me and my happiness wasn't the world, it wasn't the bombs and burning buildings, it was me, my thinking, the cancer of never letting go, is ignorance bliss, I don't know, but it's so painful to think, and tell me, what did thinking ever do for me, to what great place did thinking ever bring me? I think and think and think, I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it.”

amid the primal things

I, who have seen you amid the primal things,
Was angry when they spoke your name
In ordinary places.